"Education," said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton University, "is the ability to meet life's situations"
When you are confronted with some specific problem [...] hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing.
"What mistakes did I make that time?"
"What did I do that was right- and in what way could I have improved my performance?"
"What lessons can I learn from that experience?"
Record your triumphs in the application of these principles. Be specific. Give names, dates, results.
Few of the criminals in Sing Sing regard themselves as bad men. They are just as human as you and I. So they rationalize, they explain. They can tell you why they had to crack a safe or be quick on the trigger finger. Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning, fallacious or logical, to justify their antisocial acts even to themselves.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. [...] By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
"A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."
People who would think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes sixty years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food.
I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me now defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Bait the hook to suit the fish.
I got this reduction without saying a word about what I wanted. I talked all the time about what the other person wanted and how he could get it.
"If there is one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."
First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy. Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher William James put it:
"Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together, and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not."
Whenever he met a new acquaintance, he found out his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family, business and political opinions. He fixed all these facts well in mind as part of the picture, and the next time he met that person, even if it was a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about the hollyhocks in the backyard.
Jim Farley discovered early in life that the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.
Carnegie said: "Good evening, Mr Pullman, aren't we making a couple of fools of ourselves?"
"What do you mean?" Pullman demanded.
Then Carnegie expressed what he had on his mind - a merger of their two interests. He pictured in glowing terms the mutual advantages of working with, instead of against, each other. Pullman listened attentively, but he was not wholly convinced. Finally he asked, "What would you call the new company?" and Carnegie replied promptly: "Why, the Pullman Palace Car Company, of course"
