Maggie Nelson - "The Argonauts"

Started to read this because of her magnificent opening of "bluets".

It's cool but at some point I became tired of the extremely artistic and hyper self awareness of her fluid gender and lgbtq friends, the artists that shaped them. But, when suddenly "harry", her male-female partner, describes the death of their mother, things were soft and mesmerizing.


Openings paragraph
October 2007. The Santa Ana winds are shredding the bark off the eucalyptus trees in long white stripes. A friend and I risk the widowmakers by having lunch outside, during which she suggests I tattoo HARD TO GET across my knuckles, as a reminder of this pose's possible fruits. Instead the words I love you come tumbling out of my mouth in an incantation the first time you fuck me in the ass, my face smashed against the cement floor of your dank and charming bachelor pad. You had Molloy by your bedside and a stack of cocks in a shadowy unused shower stall. Does it get any better? What's your pleasure? you asked, then stuck around for the answer.


In bonsai you often plant the tree off-center in the pot to make space for the divine.


In Arabic, the word for fetus derives from djinn, which means "hidden from sight."


How to suggest, in a culture frantic for resolution, that sometimes the shit stays messy?


My writing is riddled with such tics of uncertainty. I have no excuse or solution, save to allow myself the tremblings, then go back in later and slash them out. In this way I edit myself into a boldness that is neither native nor foreign to me.

x-rated ish

Om Unit - "Out of the shadow"
Garibov - "Untitled X" (Depth Of Field)
Obsequies - "Languish"

Nine Inch Nails & Coil - "Gave up - open my eyes" (Recoiled)

Baxter Dury - "Miami"

"I'm the sausage man"

weird music, fun.