Saturday, 15 April 2017

Joseph Heller - "Catch 22"

Amazingly crazy characters! You can see the true war's madness through the lines. But what - so far - has been missing is any real narrative that will make you care a lot about its characters.


    'They're trying to kill me,' Yossarian told him calmly.
    'No one's trying to kill you,' Clevinger cried.
    'Then why are they shooting at me?' Yossarian asked.
    'They're shooting at everyone,' Clevinger answered. 'They're trying to kill everyone.'
    'And what difference does that make?'
    Clevinger was already on the way, half out of his chair with emotion, his eyes moist and his lips quivering and pale. As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy.
    'Who's they?' he wanted to know. 'Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?'
    'Every one of them,' Yossarian told him.
    'Every one of whom?'
    'Every one of who do you think?'
    'I haven't any idea.'
    'Then how do you know they aren't?'
    'Because...' Clevinger sputtered, and turned speechless with frustration.
    Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs om them, and it wasn't funny at all. And if that wasn't funny, there were lots of things that weren't even funnier. There was nothing funny about living like a bum in a tent in Pianosa between fat mountains behind him and a placid blue sea in front that could gulp down a person with a cramp in the twinkling of an eye and ship him back to shore three days later, all charges paid, bloated, blue and putrescent, water draining out through both cold nostrils.


    Orr sniggered as he shook his head. 'I did it to protect my good reputation in case anyone ever caught me walking around with crab apples in my cheeks. with rubber balls in my hands I could deny there were crab apples in my cheeks. Every time someone asked me why I was walking around with crab apples in my cheeks, I'd just open my hands and show them it was rubber balls I was walking around with, not crab apples, and that they were in my hands, not my cheeks. It was a good story. But I never knew if it got across or not, since it's pretty tough to make people understand you when you're talking to them with two crab apples in your cheeks.'


    The nightmares appeared to Hungry Joe with celestial punctuality every single night he spent in the squadron throughout the whole harrowing ordeal when he was not flying combat missions and was waiting once again for the orders sending him home that never came. Impressionable men in the squadron like Dobbs and Captain Flume were so deeply disturbed by Hungry Joe's shrieking nightmares that they would begin to have shrieking nightmares of their won, and the piercing obscenities they flung into the air every night from the separate places in the squadron rang against each other in the darkness romantically like the mating calls of songbirds with filthy minds.